There is an article I stumbled upon in Twitter this morning called "Why Women Hate Strip Clubs" at Askmen.com. I don't hate strip clubs. I have dear male friends that work at them and also frequent them. The article mainly deduces that most women hate strip clubs because of their own insecurities. While that is true in some cases they have missed something important. What does it tell a woman about a man that frequents strip clubs?

Strip clubs fit a very specific purpose, much like Nascar and the Modern Museum of Art. Not all people are suited to the same types of entertainment. There is certainly a place in this world for strip clubs. As a woman I don't like a man I am dating to hang around them though, but not for the reasons ask men.com lists.

When I am getting to know a man I use the things he tells me and his habits to judge his character on the inside. If he is a strip club frequenter my mind starts hoisting red flags. First is that he is frivolous with his money and must be pretty gullible. Second it makes him seem insecure and there is nothing less attractive than an insecure man. Lastly it brings out a sleazy factor, whether real or perceived. None of these are attractive qualities in a potential partner.

The kind of women that work in strip clubs, for the most part, are going to be nothing like me. That is not to say they are all bad people, just different people. I hear all the arguments about how much money they make and there is nothing wrong with that. There are a lot of occupations that make large sums of money that I wouldn't do either. I would rather go to an art gallery on a Friday night or out for cocktails instead of a monster truck rally or a professional wrestling match. It's not going to work in love if we have such a fundamental difference of opinion on what we enjoy doing culturally and what we find entertaining. If a guy hangs out in strip clubs because that's where he feels most comfortable then we are probably not going to have much to talk about. I feel the same about a guy who likes to spend his Sundays collecting stamps.

Many men frequent strip clubs because of the validation they receive. They are often insecure and are willing to pay a lot of money to have a women tell them they are great, smart, funny, successful, powerful and handsome. I understand that in some cases these men are with woman who don't validate them. If a man is with a woman who doesn't respect him then it's not going to be fixed by paying a stripper to make up the difference. It will get fixed by finding a woman who respects you without having to slip a Benjamin into her G-string.

I understand there are a myriad of reasons men have for going to a strip club. I too respect the beauty of the female body. It's fun sometimes to go out with friends and do something out of your normal routine. Sometimes people's personal sexual proclivities factor into this and their wives and girlfriends are into it. I'm not here to designate every strip club patron as insecure, sleazy, broke and gullible. However in response to the ask men article I have to provide a perspective from the other side of the fence.

I will now spend the rest of the afternoon ducking from the arrows of quite a few of my male friends.